Shocking Truth How Narcissists Truly See Themselves!

Rebecca Zung
2 min readApr 23, 2024

By Rebecca Zung, Esq

Hey there awesome Slayers, it’s Rebecca Zung, and we’re diving deep into the intriguing realm of narcissism today. You know, it’s kind of mind-boggling when you think about how these individuals perceive themselves. We’ve all encountered the facade of confidence they put on, but do they truly understand what’s happening in their own minds? Let me share some eye-opening insights based on my recent research.

Now, for those of you who might be new here, I’m a lawyer recognized by US News, and I love delving into research that sheds light on the intricacies of human behavior. What struck me during my investigations for my book, “The Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist,” was the revelation about the internal workings of a narcissist’s mind.

Sure, they come across as confident and self-assured, but the shocking truth is that they are among the most insecure and shame-filled individuals out there. Behind that seemingly put-together exterior lies an emptiness they’re desperately trying to fill. It’s like there’s a perpetual black hole within them that simply can’t be satisfied.

One of the key factors contributing to this is an Arrested Development that took place during their childhood. Trauma triggered a fight or flight response, releasing adrenaline and cortisol that affected the emotional part of their brain. While the prefrontal cortex continued to develop, the limbic system, responsible for emotions, remained underdeveloped. This creates a gap in their emotional maturity, leaving them akin to toddlers stuck in adult bodies.

So, when faced with situations that trigger survival mode, the limbic system takes over, rendering them temporarily unable to access their rational thinking. This can result in actions they may not even remember, causing collateral damage in their wake.

What’s intriguing is their warped self-perception. They genuinely believe they possess empathy and goodness, oblivious to the havoc they wreak in relationships. They might even take themselves down to bring others along, driven by an unconscious self-destructive impulse.

So, in a nutshell, understanding how narcissists see themselves can give you the confidence to stand up against their antics. Picture them as toddlers throwing a tantrum on the floor — observe, don’t absorb. Reclaim your peace, reclaim your sense of self.

If you found this valuable, share it with someone who might find this helpful too. Together, we’re a powerful support network. And remember, today’s a great day to start negotiating your best life.



Rebecca Zung

She is a Top 1% attorney, narcissist negotiation expert, YouTuber & creator of the SLAY Your Negotiation w/ a Narcissist program.