One Question That Causes a Narcissist Collapse

Rebecca Zung
3 min readApr 23, 2024

By Rebecca Zung, Esq.

Do you want to know a question that’s going to set up a narcissist for collapse? I understand you might think narcissists never collapse — they seem so strong and powerful. Many people have expressed that belief to me. However, it’s not necessarily true, and I’ll tell you why. In this article, I’ll share one question that, when asked, can set the stage for a narcissist’s collapse.

Before we dive in, I want to hear from you. Share in the comments a time when you felt you had the upper hand in a negotiation or communication with a narcissist. Your stories inspire and empower others, so please don’t hesitate to share.

When dealing with a narcissist, it’s essential to understand their mindset. They thrive on power, attention, and control. The question that sets up a narcissist’s collapse is simple: “How does that benefit you?” Let me explain.

Many of you may know me from my best-selling books like “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win.” In that book, I emphasize that knowledge is power, and it’s crucial to feel strong. A narcissist is inherently more afraid of you than you are of them. By the end of this article, you’ll be armed with a powerful tool to feel empowered in conversations and negotiations.

If you haven’t subscribed yet, do it now. Hit that notification bell because you want to navigate challenging situations with narcissists — whether in your family or a professional setting. I’ve dealt with narcissistic behavior in my law practice and while helping people worldwide. Turning the tables on narcissists exposes them, and they become defensive when asked, “How does that benefit you?”

Imagine you’re in a situation where a narcissist is making outrageous demands. By asking, “How does that benefit you?” you’re essentially prompting them to reveal their motives. They may be taken aback, stumble, or become defensive. In that moment, you’ve shifted this balance of power. Consider a scenario in a professional negotiation where a narcissist pushes for an unreasonable term or condition. Pose the question, “How does that benefit you?” Not only does it force them to reconsider their demands, but it also positions you as someone thinking critically about the negotiations.

Have you used this question before, or can you think of a situation where it would be a game-changer? Share your thoughts in the comments; let’s build a supportive community where we share insights and strategies.

For those needing phrases to deal with narcissists in emails or text messages, visit for helpful resources. Crafting the right message can make you more powerful in tricky situations.

I’ll share a personal experience where I used this question to flip the tables on someone. Listing what I had paid for and received, I turned the negotiation around during a Zoom call.

If you find value in this, hit the like button and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Let’s empower as many people as we can. In conclusion, knowledge and preparation are your best allies against toxic and narcissistic individuals.

Stand your ground, seek empowerment, and face challenges with emotional control.

Join my free private Facebook group for additional support. I’m Rebecca Zung, and I appreciate you being part of this community. See you in the next article.

Remember that today is a perfect day. Just start negotiating your best life!



Rebecca Zung

She is a Top 1% attorney, narcissist negotiation expert, YouTuber & creator of the SLAY Your Negotiation w/ a Narcissist program.