By Rebecca Zung, Esq.
If there’s one thing that narcissists are most notorious for, it is their ability to use words as a weapon against vulnerable people. The way they phrase things can contradict their own behavior so much so that it can be hard to differentiate truth from lies. That’s why understanding the patterns of verbal manipulation used by narcissists is so important in regaining control over our lives. In this blog post, we’ll discuss some common phrases often used by narcissists — allowing us to identify them before further damage occurs!
It’s common for a narcissist to say, “I don’t want to argue with you”, but in reality, they are constantly looking for an argument. You’ll notice this when you try to have a simple conversation, and they end up interrupting you or asking why you brought something up. They’ll even project and accuse you of yelling when, in reality, you’re speaking in a normal tone of voice. They’ll give you a hard time when you want to do something as simple as go to a movie or meet with friends because they want to be the center of attention.
Narcissists often use the phrase “I love you” to contradict their behavior, but the truth is that their actions don’t align with the love they claim to have. Their cruel and degrading behavior towards others is not what you would expect from someone who truly loves another person. This behavior can be confusing and hurtful, especially when you care for the narcissist. Remember that it’s important to recognize and protect yourself from toxic relationships.
Narcissists will say “I’m your biggest supporter,” but their actions rarely match those words. Instead of showing up to support their loved ones, they make a point to interfere with important events, like interrupting big meetings or downplaying accomplishments. When their partners get promoted, a narcissist might even make it seem like it was no big deal or that they didn’t have much to do with it. It can be incredibly frustrating and hurtful to deal with such contradictory behavior.
It’s quite common to come across situations where that narcissist says, “I consider you my best friend”, but their actions do not align with it. You may wonder how someone could label you as their closest confidant when they treat you poorly or disrespectfully. Perhaps they even disparage you to other people and claim that they don’t want a relationship with you. It’s frustrating when they seem to change their mind about you every other day, making you feel like they’re constantly playing games with your emotions.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that when confronted with someone who exhibits narcissistic qualities and behaviors, especially in a relationship, you must pay attention to what they say but more importantly, pay attention to what they do. It may be difficult at first but trust your intuition; if something doesn’t seem quite right about someone then you can certainly listen more carefully and judge accordingly. Watch their behavior closely and take the necessary steps for your own safety and emotional wellbeing if needed. Allowing yourself the space to see these seemingly contradictory statements for what they are will always serve you best in any situation.