How Narcissists Train You to Suppress

Rebecca Zung
3 min readApr 23, 2024

By Rebecca Zung, Esq

Hey there, it’s Rebecca Zung, and today I want to dive deep into a topic that affects many of us — how narcissists use various manipulation tactics to train you to suppress your feelings. It’s a subtle art form, and I’m here to shed some light on the insidious ways they go about it.

Gaslighting: The Master Manipulation

Gaslighting is one of the most powerful tools in a narcissist’s arsenal. Whether they’re covert, grandiose, overt, or malignant, they all use it to manipulate you. Gaslighting is designed to make you doubt your reality, perceptions, and even your sanity. They might dismiss your feelings, saying you’re too sensitive or overreacting. It’s like a psychological game where they make you question your own reality, just like in that old movie from the 1930s where the husband manipulated his wife by dimming gas lights. Recognizing gaslighting is the first step to taking back your power.

Changing the Narrative on a Whim

Narcissists are masters at changing their story on the fly. One moment, they’re agreeing with you, and the next, they’re saying you misunderstood or never had a conversation. It’s like trying to catch a slippery fish — you can never quite grasp them. But remember, knowledge is power. Once you start seeing through their tactics, you can step back, almost like you’re reporting the news about their behavior.

Undermining Your Achievements

Another way they suppress you is by undermining your achievements. No matter what you do, they find a way to belittle it. They might downplay your success, take credit for it, or suggest others have done better. Recognize that their opinions don’t matter, and resist the urge to seek validation from someone who undermines your accomplishments.

Isolation: Keeping You in Their Web

Narcissists often isolate you from support systems. They may convince you that nobody else cares about you or that you’re better off without certain people. Recognizing this tactic is crucial. Maintain your support system, join groups, and resist the isolation they try to impose.

Controlling Your Narrative

Narcissists love controlling the narrative. They rewrite history, deny events, and insist you remember things wrong. Reclaim your truth by keeping a journal and resisting the false narrative they impose.

Creating Dependency

Another tactic is making you dependent on them. They’ll say things like, “You can’t do this without me.” Understand that you don’t need them to succeed. Build your independence and resist relying on them for validation or success.

Withholding Affection: A Tool for Control

Narcissists use affection, love, and even sex as tools for control. By withholding these, they make you compliant, seeking their approval and love as if it’s something you have to earn. Recognize this emotional manipulation, and start creating healthy boundaries.

Empower Yourself: Reclaim Your Power

Remember, you don’t have to be a victim of narcissistic manipulation. Recognize these suppression tactics, create boundaries, and reclaim your power. Join support groups, seek help, and share your experiences. Knowledge is power, and by understanding these tactics, you can break free from the chains of manipulation.

If you’ve experienced any of these suppression tactics, share your story in the comments below. Let’s start a conversation, support each other, and empower ourselves to break free from the grip of narcissistic manipulation. Together, we can navigate these challenging dynamics and negotiate our best lives. Stay empowered, and remember, they only win if you give in. Until next time!



Rebecca Zung

She is a Top 1% attorney, narcissist negotiation expert, YouTuber & creator of the SLAY Your Negotiation w/ a Narcissist program.