5 Sure Fire Ways to Unveil a Covert Narcissist’s Mask

Rebecca Zung
3 min readAug 22, 2023

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By Rebecca Zung

Are you struggling to figure out if someone is a covert narcissist? You’ve likely spent countless hours trying to decipher their sporadic behaviors and wondering why they act so differently in public than they do around those they are closest with. While it can be difficult (at times almost impossible) to recognize narcissistic traits, there are certain measures you can take that will help reveal a hidden narcissist’s mask once and for all. In this blog post, we will explore five sure-fire ways to ensure you can detect any clues of current or future emotional abuse and gain control back over your life — for good.

The first step is to keenly observe their inconsistent behavior. Understanding a covert narcissist and exposing their true nature requires paying close attention to their behavioral inconsistencies. Despite constantly wearing a fake smile, their actions often contradict their facade, making their behavior unreliable and unpredictable.

The second step involves recognizing their manipulative tactics. These individuals are skilled manipulators, employing subtle tactics that may go unnoticed at first. However, the signs become apparent quite early in the relationship. Their intention is to make their tactics so subtle that you might not react. They rely on guilt, passive-aggressive behavior, and portraying themselves as victims to control and manipulate others.

The third way is to look for a lack of genuine empathy, not only for yourself but also for others. Genuine empathy, which is a trait that all narcissists lack, is crucial to consider. Although covert narcissists may initially appear to be empathetic, you will eventually realize that it is superficial and self-serving. Take a moment to observe how they respond to emotions, how they react to your struggles, and how they treat others who are facing challenges. Do they genuinely show care and offer support? This exploration will help you relate and better understand the signs of a covert narcissist.

Fourth crucial step is to assess their constant need for validation. Covert narcissists have an insatiable desire for admiration and compliments, as they harbor a delicate self-esteem. In order to feed their fragile ego, they create situations that demand constant attention and praise

Lastly, you can empower yourself and protect your well-being. Trusting your intuition is crucial in this process, as your gut feeling often detects when something isn’t right. If you feel that something is off, listen to that inner voice within yourself. Covert narcissists are highly skilled at manipulation, and it’s easy to find yourself entangled in their web for longer than necessary. By trusting yourself and recognizing the signs early on, you can save yourself from prolonged emotional distress. Remember, you deserve a healthy relationship built on trust and mutual respect.

Summarizing the topic of this blog post, it is key to keep an eye out for these five sure-fire ways to uncover a covert narcissist’s mask. This is important in order to ensure that their false façade does not control our lives and relationships. A popular strategy for recognizing a covert narcissist’s mask is engaging them with good boundaries and expecting mutual respect in communication. In addition, direct communication proves helpful when let the other person know when one feels hurt or disrespected. Furthermore, making it clear that one will not accept any negative criticism can help combat the presence of narcissistic tendencies. Lastly, gaining some knowledge about narcissism would enable one to spot this attitude at its core. Utilizing these five wake-up calls can save us from taking on unnecessary baggage by revealing a covert narcissist’s mask in the healthiest way possible.

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Rebecca Zung

She is a Top 1% attorney, narcissist negotiation expert, YouTuber & creator of the SLAY Your Negotiation w/ a Narcissist program. www.rebeccazung.com