5 Narcissism Code Words You Need to Know

Rebecca Zung
3 min readSep 16, 2023

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By Rebecca Zung, LLC

Are you suspecting that your loved one might be a narcissist? If so, understanding the lingo used by those with narcissistic personality disorder is vital to identifying their unhealthy behavior patterns. Knowing which code words are shorthand for what they really mean can hold the key to warning signs and becoming better at recognizing them in action.

#1. “I didn’t mean it that way.” or “You’re just taking it wrong, right”

These innocent-sounding words are actually clever techniques used by narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for their hurtful actions. They love shifting the blame onto you by implying that you are misinterpreting their true intentions. Don’t fall for their slippery tactics!

#2. “You’re too sensitive.”

This insidious phrase is a cunning way to invalidate your emotions and undermine your confidence. Don’t let them label you as “too sensitive.” Take back your power and learn to recognize their tactics.

#3 “I’m only joking.”

This phrase is often used as a defense mechanism to evade accountability and downplay the impact of hurtful comments. By claiming the statement was a joke, the speaker tries to shift the blame onto the person on the receiving end, suggesting that they lack a sense of humor.

Humor used as a shield against accountability — Employing humor as a defense mechanism is a way for narcissistic individuals to avoid taking ownership of their hurtful actions. By diverting attention through jokes, they aim to deflect criticism and shift the focus away from their own behavior.

#4. “It’s for your own good.”

This seemingly innocent phrase is often used by covert narcissists as a manipulative tactic to justify or control unwanted behavior. They cloak their intentions under the guise of concern, making it difficult to recognize their true narcissistic tendencies. It’s crucial for readers to be aware of these code words in order to better understand and relate to the experiences of those who have encountered covert narcissists.

#5. “Nobody else thinks that.”

This phrase is a significant red flag that indicates narcissistic behavior. It is an attempt by narcissists to isolate and devalue you, making you feel like they are the only ones who care about you or that you should solely rely on them. They aim to marginalize your feelings by suggesting that nobody else thinks the way you do. This tactic is known as gaslighting, which is meant to make you doubt the legitimacy of your own emotions and thoughts, and even question your sanity.

Recognizing these code words and patterns is crucial in understanding the control a narcissist exerts over you. By coming to terms with these manipulative tactics, you can start to realize that this person is not truly supportive of you. Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with them — your gut feeling is often ahead of your logical mind by about 10 seconds. Trusting your intuition is key; it allows you to sense that something is amiss, even if you cannot articulate it. Remember, you deserve to be surrounded by people who support and value you unconditionally.

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Rebecca Zung
Rebecca Zung

Written by Rebecca Zung

She is a Top 1% attorney, narcissist negotiation expert, YouTuber & creator of the SLAY Your Negotiation w/ a Narcissist program. www.rebeccazung.com

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