By Rebecca Zung, Esq.
Do you want to know what phrases narcissists absolutely hate? In this article you’re going to know just what to say that is going to send that narcissist into a tizzy the way they like to usually do to you.
So let’s talk about the words that narcissists hate. They’re usually the ones that are trying to get you. They have their own little collection of things that they love to say to drive you insane, to make you feel small, to devalue you, to make you feel like you shouldn’t even be a speck of dust. I mean, I’ve had so many people say to me, I think he or she wants me to actually kill myself, but that is not true because then there would go their source of supply. So basically they love getting the supply, that narcissistic supply, that thing that feeds their ego. They want to get it from as many sources as they possibly can.
And if you want to know more about narcissistic supply, check out my YouTube channel on narcissistic supply, where I actually define the whole thing. But basically what they’re trying to do is make them feel more powerful over you by controlling you and driving you crazy. So they bring you in with love bombing and they get you going and they make you think they’re so wonderful and so perfect because they’re really, really charismatic. And they’re terrific at making you think that they are perfect in some way, whether it’s in a business setting or a relationship setting, they come on with this charismatic, I’m so perfect for you way of being and maybe even offer to do all kinds of things for you. And they might even do one or two things for you in the beginning. A lot of it is offering and future faking and all that sort of thing.
So here are some words that narcissists absolutely hate. Number one is any kind of praise or any kind of adulation or respect or anything about anyone else. They really cannot take that. Even if you just say, “wow, I really admire that person.” They’re really good at this. Or even if you just compliment them in some way, they’re really great in business. Or I like their house; somehow any kind of compliment about someone else becomes something about them. It becomes something that irritates them, that bothers them in some way that maybe you like them better or you think more highly of them than you think of them. And so therefore it becomes a threat to them in some way. So any kind of nice words about somebody other than them is a problem.
Number two is “that’s not true.” If you just literally say, I think you’re lying, and then they hate that! Especially if you have proof that they’re lying or that you know that they’re not telling the truth. You can literally show them the proof right in front of their face and they will go right to projection or denial or all those other kinds of things. And definitely check out my video on what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie. There are several different things that they normally do, but they really, really hate it if you just simply say, and you just say it factually. You don’t have to say it with emotion or anger or anything like that. You can just say it as if you’re reporting the news. That’s just not true.
Thirdly is “I will not.” In other words, “I will not go with you. I will not do that thing that you want. I will not go along with your plan to defraud somebody or whatever it is.” I had a narcissistic client one time who used to say to me, Rebecca, you’re really going to be lonely in heaven by yourself. And you like to try to goad me into doing something that I didn’t want to do. No, I just said, no, I will not do that. So that’s number three is I will not.
Number four is similar, which is I cannot. Like literally I can’t do that. I can’t do that right now. I can’t do that ever. I’m not physically able, I’m not emotionally able, I’m not spiritually able, I’m not able. I just cannot help you in whatever way it is that you want me to do. And they don’t like that. I cannot, I will not, not happening. They don’t want to hear that.
And the next one is you lost. I mean, even if it’s just playing a game or something and they happen to lose, you lost. They don’t want to hear you lost. Even if they did lose, they don’t want to hear about that. So you can’t actually say, because they’re going to have all kinds of reasons why maybe it looks like they lost, but they didn’t actually lose, namely probably because you cheated or something happened that caused them to make it look like they lost, even though they definitely did win.
The next one is “you’re wrong.” So again, even if they are wrong and you give them proof of it, I mean, you could be showing them something on your phone or showing them a piece of paper or something that actually proves to them that they are wrong. They’re never going to admit that they were wrong. And so for those of you who are dealing with a narcissist, don’t waste your breath trying to prove them wrong because they’re never going to admit to it.
The words that sound something like, oh my gosh, you are totally right. I’m 100% wrong. I am so sorry. You totally didn’t deserve that behavior. I am terrible. You think that you’re ever going to hear those words? No. I mean, you’re better off waiting for goldfish to fly or the moon to be made out of green cheese or whatever it is. I mean, anything is more possible than that. I mean, they’re really not going to do that.
So you just have to believe that karma will win out. You use the tactics that I teach you on how to win in other ways, creating your strategy and your leverage and all of the things that I teach you. And you will have to prove them wrong in a different way because just by simply saying you’re wrong, they hate that and that you’re not going to get anywhere with it.
The next one is, “I don’t care.” I mean, what is worse to a narcissist? You think that being mean to a narcissist is the worst thing or fighting back against them is the worst thing? Actually, no. The worst thing to a narcissist is that you are completely apathetic, that you just seriously don’t care at all. I mean, when you can get to a point where someday maybe you don’t even remember that narcissist name or what they look like or what they did to you or anything like that, that’s actually the best revenge on a narcissist because they hate that. They don’t want to be irrelevant. They’d rather be in your face and having you complain about them and think that they’re a horrible person than be completely irrelevant. So they absolutely hate the words, I don’t care.
Okay. So the next one is, I’m busy, which actually is very closely related to the ninth one, which is not now. So I’m busy or not now, meaning I can’t be with you right now. I can’t do what you want right now. I will not do what you want right now or maybe ever. And they really don’t want to hear that. I mean, so with I’m busy or not now, they expect you to move mountains and drop everything for them right now. Or they’ll just walk right into your office or walk right into your house and expect and demand to have attention drawn upon them immediately. Or maybe they walk into a restaurant and they expect the best table right away. And if people don’t immediately all flock to giving them what it is that they want, then they actually are personally affronted. And with narcissists, you’re either for them or against them. And so if they don’t perceive you to be 100% for them and giving you every minute of attention every second of the day, immediately when they want it, then obviously you’re against them, right?
So that brings me to the last one, which is the word that they hate the most, which is NO, in any way, shape or form. Narcissists have no boundaries. They don’t think that they should have any boundaries. They feel entitled. And so if you say the word no in any way, shape or form, it is a personal affront to them. They are personally triggered. That narcissistic injury gets triggered and there comes out flying the narcissistic rage and hell hath no fury like a narcissist’s corn.
So anyway, those are the 10 phrases that narcissists hate the most. And when you are going to negotiate with them, you should keep those in the back of your mind and either use them strategically or don’t use them at all, depending on what it is that you want to accomplish.
And so if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist, grab my free Crush My Negotiation prep worksheet. Don’t negotiate without it. And make sure you join my free private Facebook group. It’s called Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung, thousands of us in there helping each other, supporting each other. And we’ll make sure that there’s a link to that below as well.
Remember that there is no better day than TODAY to start negotiating your best life! Apply these 10 phrases in any situation you are in right now if you’re dealing with a narcissist and you will keep SLAYING them. They only win if you give in. So don’t you ever give up!
For more ways to shift the power dynamic against the narcissist in your life check out my free masterclass right here: http://icanslay.com